For much of my life, I struggled with a sense that something was inherently wrong with me. I felt different; too much, too sensitive, too anxious. It wasn’t until later that I began to understand how trauma, ADHD, and autism can intertwine, creating a complex web of experiences that often go unnoticed or misdiagnosed.
Many neurodivergent people, particularly those who are autistic and ADHD, experience high levels of trauma, not because neurodivergence itself is traumatic, but because of the way the world responds to it.
Growing up, I had to mask parts of myself to fit in. I learned to suppress my natural ways of thinking and feeling, internalising the idea that I was "too emotional" or "not quite right." This constant effort to adapt to an environment that didn’t accommodate me led to deep exhaustion, self-doubt, negative self-talk, anxiety, depression and burnout.
At the same time, trauma can shape the way neurodivergence presents. For example, attachment wounds and abandonment trauma may heighten sensitivity to social rejection, making it difficult to separate trauma responses from being autistic/ADHD.
Is anxiety around relationships a result of past wounds, or is it the deep need for routine and predictability that often comes with being autistic? Is a struggle with focus purely ADHD, or is the nervous system still on high alert from past experiences?
Understanding these layers can be both validating and challenging. It’s helped me approach myself with more compassion, recognising that my brain isn’t "broken", it’s responding to years of trying to survive in a world that wasn’t designed for me.
Unpacking these intersections is a journey, but one that brings greater self-acceptance and clarity.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re “too much” or “not enough,” you’re not alone. Your brain isn’t wrong; the world just hasn’t always known how to meet you where you are.
This is where therapy comes in, but not any kind of therapy, therapy with a professional who can help you to process your trauma but who can facilitate a safe space for you to begin to understand who you are and accept who you are too.
Someone who can support you to learn to love and care for you in ways you may never imagined you could.
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